Dating Burnout

Before you get too far into reading, this isn’t a light and fluffy post. I am experiencing full blown dating burnout. It’s real, raw and exhausting.

Isn’t dating fun?? Don’t you enjoy meeting new people?? To a certain extent YES, but think of it this way…

Every time I allow a new person into my life, I am in a vulnerable position. To not let past relationship pains ruin potential for a partner, I need to trust, be open and willing to embrace their unique experiences/personality.

As realistic and logical as I am coming into any situation, being rejected enough times OR hurting someone else’s feelings takes a mental toll. Even if I know a person is not “the one” there is still a sting when things end. There was hope, but back to being alone.

The biggest frustration and most hurtful piece is someone treating me like a “maybe.” It’s becoming more common and it’s not fair. Below are some examples:

– “I’m not sure if I’m ready for a relationship, but I’ll talk to her until I figure that out.”

– “I’ll see her only when the time is convenient, no effort though because other priorities might come up.”

– “She’s fun, but I don’t see a future with her. I’ll still spend time with her until I’m done though.”

– “Let’s casually date.” (What the fuck does that even mean?)

– “I’ll fuck her, but if she inconveniences me then I’ll have an excuses to bail.”

I am in no emotional headspace to tolerate stress induced by a person making me feel anything less than I am. I am loving, attentive, interested in doing things with a partner and successful in many avenues.

I am NOT difficult to date and know where my flaws lie. Sometimes I get drunk and I want to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk… you get the point.

I do not deserve to be yelled at. I do not deserve to be berated or ignored for being human and having valid emotions. I don’t deserve to have my time wasted or be disrespected through ghosting. Used and then trashed. The modern acceptable dating behaviours are seriously taking a negative toll on my self esteem and self worth.

Maybe my line of work and extensive dating experience have given me a higher tolerance for other people’s BS. I take far more than I ever should and of course I am the one who suffers or doesn’t get my needs met.

So friends, I am burnt out. My mood has been deteriorating although my life is overall good. I recognize all of the positives I have, but between dating and compassion burn out, I need to consider my own Mental Health.

So no more dating apps until the New Year. Focusing on Cuba, work, people who I know love me and self care.

Disappointed and defeated? Let me know if you are in the same boat. What has helped you because any words of wisdom will be appreciated…?

As always, stay safe and have fun.